Am I falling behind?

Photo by Adailton Batista on

I look around all of my peers and I see people around my age moving in with their s.o, starting a serious relationship and I even see some of them starting their own business. And they’re only 19-20 years old! Am I missing something?

As I was growing up, I’ve noticed that I was “maturing” at a slower pace than others. I.E: people around me were going out partying and getting drunk, while I was at home, most likely watching Disney movies. People are getting into their first relationships while I have never even been kissed before etc. You know, normal teen stuff.

I always thought of myself as an introvert who was most likely aromantic. I’ve always avoided these types of things because they overstimulate me. It has never bothered me before, but now I feel as if everyone around me is maturing while I’m just stuck as a young adult with the mentality of a child. Sometimes, I feel that I’m getting treated as a child by my peers.

Technically I’m still a teenager since I’m only 19, but I feel as if I missed so many things of a normal “teen life” because of my introversion and my anxiety, and that I’m running out of time.

Maybe I should stop worrying about this, maybe not. I guess that’s part of being an adult? Have you ever felt something similar to this?

Yours truly,



  1. The worst thing for us to do is compare ourselves to others. I have often felt the same, but more about adulting, which honestly, I still suck at. But at the time when I felt this fear the worst, after I quit my job to do my own thing and had to start at the bottom again at 26, chatting to my friends, some of whom were already in their 30’s at that time, and my one friend who is a year older than me, I found that I wasn’t the only one going through this. We are all on our own journey. I also have held myself back so much from doing a lot of things that I wanted to do, and even that I thought I wanted to. Because we do need to distinguish whether we want to do things just because that’s what our society or peers dictate, or whether we genuinely want to do them because we want to.
    But as much as it annoyed me when my husband said to just go out and do these things, I knew he was right and that I had to push through the fear. I’m getting there, I’m doing things, some I still need to build up courage for, but I’m getting there. But believe me, these fears follow us around if we don’t stop comparing ourselves to others since people will always be ahead and behind us, or rather, different from us.
    Also, you could be projecting a bit. If you are feeling like you’re behaving like a child instead of a young woman on the cusp of adulthood, you may feel like everyone is looking at you as if you’re a child when really they aren’t. Give yourself some grace, not everyone is meant to start a business at 20 and being single isn’t something to be ashamed of. Your person will come along when you are ready to put yourself out there and be open to that. But even so, a lot of people only get into a serious relationship later in life.
    Also, no shame in not going out and getting drunk and all that. That’s not what anyone needs to do to have fun and a fulfilled life. If your anxiety is getting too much, I suggest going for counselling, I found it helpful. And slowly start to put yourself out there to do the things that are important to you, courage after all, is not the absence of fear, but rather going ahead anyway. Sorry for the essay, if you read this, I hope it helped a bit.


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